"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
