so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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