I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
