The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We're too hungover to prance.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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