Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
