dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
