bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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