Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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