so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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