I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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