Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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