quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
