i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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