I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
