mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
