U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
