maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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