That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
