i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
