OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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