Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
