pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
