She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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