I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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