Duck Duck Cougar?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
