question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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