I cannot find my penis.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
