When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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