hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
