Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm just crazy horny about you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
