called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
