i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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