Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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