Sponge bath it is.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
