he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
