So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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