yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
