You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
FUCK WHALES
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
