I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
