The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
