I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
