i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
