Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
