You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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