The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
