I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
