Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
