All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
