i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
