She's JV to your varsity
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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