i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
