just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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