I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
